Hi everyone

[Ulotrichous]

I was trying to find out where I stood after realizing that the thought of my wife exploring her sexuality with partners other than me not only did not make me jealous, but it excited me.

Backstory, my wife and I have been married for just over 20 years. We are in our late 50s/mid 60s. We get along great and communicate well. Our sex life was good, but after 20 years could have been described as routine or complacent.

A few years ago, to spice things up I started bringing different sex toys into the bedroom. Some were received well, some not so much… Bringing new/different toys has been ongoing occasionally since I started and has led to more discussion about our mutual and individual likes and dislikes.
We found an online sexual compatibility quiz (quiv .re) that we took, and it really helped with our communication about sexual wants and desires. In our discussions I shared a couple of my kinks that I had previously kept to myself out of fear (of rejection, judgement, etc.) She shared some of her fantasies and one of them was a MFM threesome. I had not really fantasized about a threesome of any kind, but I was surprised that imagining a MFM threesome where she was the focus was exciting to me. I set out to try to understand why. To say I was intrigued is quite the understatement. There is a lot of information out there and an infinite spectrum where one can place themselves on the Hotwife/ENM scale.

After reading this and other forums, listening to podcasts, and reading some books that were mentioned I concluded that I am more than ok with her exploring her sexuality with other partners. I also feel that she would be better served by exploring her sexuality with other partners with my support, but not my presence. I think she may be self-conscious or otherwise inhibited if I were there in person. I am not saying I want no involvement; I would definitely want to reconnect and have her share her experience if she wishes to. I also would like to be there if her MFM fantasy becomes reality.

I have communicated this to her and she is ok with it as a fantasy and to role play with but does not see it becoming reality. I told her that I am ok with that as I feel it is 100% her decision to move from fantasy to reality.

Meanwhile, our sex life and communication has improved greatly as we fantasize, and role play about this. I hope to get her on here to see that we are far from alone in this fantasy and to help her make an informed decision whether to keep this a fantasy or explore the reality.

[cunaz]

Take a thoughtful approach and let her go at her pace.

[mtlcpl771]

Hello Ulotrichous,

Our road has been similar to yours. We’ve shared our fantasies quite early on in our relationship and it has evolved quite a bit, yet still remains fantasy.

At this point however it seems that the fantasies have become quite evolved that there is a concern that reality wouldn’t be able to match it and ruin it.

I still hold on to maybe one day, but look back now and wonder if leaving it to happen on its own was too easy to make it not happen and should have pushed a little more to create more actual opportunities to try.

[mattywhatty]

Yes I followed this path with my last partner, but sadly she got tempted away, sometimes sharing can increase the chances of loosing.

I'm open minded about this still though.